Jenno's Widdlington II Read online

Jenno’s Widdlington II

  by

  Jenno

  Cripes, why should 'Arry Potter 'ave all the fun?

  Jenno's Widdlington II

  by

  Jenno

  Copyright 2012

  ISBN 9781476335896

  All rights reserved

  P’raps yew know already, but there’s some novels wot ‘ave got me in ‘em. It weren’t me wot wrote ‘em; they was written by Peter St John, but since Oi ‘ad ter keep on a-joggin’ ‘is mem’ry, an’ tellin’ ‘im wot ter write, it were as good as. This is wot them novels are called:

  “Gang Territory”

  “Gang Warfare”

  “Gang Rivalry”

  “Gang Loyalty”

  “Gang Petition”

  “Gang Spies”

  And

  “Gang America”

  Yew c’n get ‘em in electronic versions, and in paperback.

  If’n yew wanna know more about ‘em, but only if yew loike, yew c’d ‘ave a look, at Peter St John’s website

  www.peterstjohn.net

  There’s also moi blog:

  https://jennospot.blogspot.com

  But nobody don’t take much notice o’ that neither.

  7 November2016

  Preface

  Jenno

  A red-head, all in yellow-green;

  A cheerful kid who's full of cheek.

  Her pleated skirt is short; its sheen

  Is concertina'd, so to speak.

  Her pullover is garden green,

  It goes with skirt of yellow.

  Although her name is really Jean,

  She's known to all as, "Jenno".

  And with her strongly-striding limbs,

  She fronts the world with wilful walk

  That takes its beat from martial hymns:

  A fiery flower on sturdy stalk.

  Her auburn hair is held, to wear

  A primrose ribbon, catching in

  Her golden topknot, tied with care,

  And fixed in place with bright green pin.

  She wins her races, and your heart,

  By hurtling downhill headfirst

  In speedy, yellow, soap-box cart

  Called Emmeline Pankhurst.

  In Widdlington where Jenno lives,

  There's rivalry between her gang

  And other gangs. And no one gives

  A hang for grammar, all use slang.

  Jenno, when she wants, can speak

  With elegance; and not reflect

  The English spoken by her clique:

  With them, her speech is dialect.

  She helps in trouble to win through.

  Jenno's there when things get rough.

  A loyal friend, who will be true,

  Stalwart, steadfast, tiger tough.

  Jenno is as Jenno does.

  Jenno is a rebel.

  Jenno gives us all a buzz.

  Jenno's someone special.

  Peter St John May 2012

  Jenno's Widdlington II

  'Appiness is 'avin' yer own bit o' Territ'ry where leaves of life are pressed inter the leaves of books. Yeah, even Facebook…

  Watchin' makes yer world grow…

  Reality is all in yer 'ead. Shut yer eyes an' yew'll see wot Oi mean…

  Yew c'd do worse'n ter visit Widdlin'ton; on Peter St John’s website: peterstjohn.net.

  There's five territ'ries in Widdlin'ton: the Streeters; the Chapel Crowd; the Lions Avenue Lot; an' the Adare Road Gang (wot is real rough). The best is moi Mob, down Pepper Mill Lane, but cripes, don't tell Peter St J. Oi said so, it c'd start anuvver war…

  There's some people as reckon as 'ow gang territ'ries don’t exist. S'obvious they ain't never been ter Widdlin'ton…

  Do yew loike books? Tommy does…

  Yew can't see the boundaries of Gang Territory, but cripes, yew c'n certainly feel 'em…

  Yew're lost, loike Itchyprick, if'n yew ain't got yer Gang Territory.

  Readin' makes Itchyprick's world grow…

  Yew c'n go places wiv yer Gang Territory…

  Moi bruvver Braces walks all over Gang Territory…

  Bein' friends, means yew got overlappin' Territories.

  Birds 'ave Territories. That's why they sing…

  Gang territ'ry is where yer friends 'ang out – yer enemies too…

  "Sofa, so good," says Gran'pa Taylor. 'Ee's busy rechargin' 'is batt'ries…

  There's some people wot reckon as 'ow moi books are worthless. But cripes, wot do they expect, when they don't cost 'em nuffink?

  Oi reckon as 'ow kids are natural philosophers 'cos they ask questions. The trouble is, adults are spontaneous idiots, 'cos they answer…

  We believe lotsa fings by instinct, but that don't always mean that they're true; believe me…

  Peter's aunt reckons as 'ow Oi'm disreputable. Well, she would, wouldn't she? She told Peter 'ee weren't ter talk wiv me no more; but 'ee don't always do exac'ly wot 'ee's told. Can't really blame 'im, can yew…?

  Wot is, c'd be diff'rent, yew know. Yeah, an' it's up ter us ter make it better

  If'n yew wanna be astonished, ferget everyfink jus' before yew do it…

  Wot ain't possible in reality, is downroight ridic'lous in fancy. But it's real important ter dream…

  There's been a lotta snow. S'no joke fer some; 'specially Peter's aunt…

  Peter's geyser goes wiv gas. There's a celluloid depth gauge 'angin' there so's yew c'n only 'ave the regulation amount o' water. There ain't no barfroom in moi 'ouse. We light a fire under the copper in the laundry. It's noice an' warm in winter…

  Love is sunshine in the middle of a muddle…

  Oi didn't fink 'ee would, but cripes, Peter St John as put me on the new cover for "Gang Warfare"!

  Terday ain't moi birfday, but it feels loike it, 'cos Peter give me some sweets…

  But cripes, did that ever start a gang warfare…!

  Don’t never take yerself too seriously, loike wot Peter ‘ere does…

  An’ not too lightly neither…

  It don’t feel noice ter be uncertain. Peter’s certain o’ that. It ain’t always easy ter be a kid…

  Discouragement is a way o' lookin' at fings; so it's best ter look at 'em a bit different, If'n yew can. Not loike ol' Itchyprick 'ere…

  'Appiness is gatherin' tergevver enough confidence in yerself ter get over yer difficulties an' do somefink worfwhile wot yew really want ter do. D'yew ear me Pearl?

  Nuffink ain't more dangerous than an idea; 'specially if yew've only got one…

  We all depend on one-anuvver. That's why everyfink is always a-changin'; 'cept fer when it stays the same o'course, loike wiv boys…

  Readin' makes Golfball's world grow. 'Ee don't look too certain about it though. That's wot comes o' livin' down the Adare road wiv the Slug as yer neighbour…

  Yew c'n feel lonely even if yew're in a gang. It's worse if yew ain't got a gang, loike Selena

  Duke ain't got no territory; 'ee lives in no-man's-land. 'Ee often feels lonely, 'cos 'avin' a territory wiv a gang, is 'alf the battle…

  The universe is big, but yew c'n hold it in yer 'ead...

  Ev’ry one’s a spoke in the wheelin’ universe. But there ain’t no centre, an’ there ain’t no rim. Even so, some people believe that they’re the hub.

  Why’re yew lookin’ at me loike that?

  A lot o’ people reckon "Gang Rivalry" ain't true, but cripes, Oi was there! We 'ad a German bomber shot down. That's true an' all. Yew c'n see it in the picture…

  There ain't nobody wot can't 'ope fer redemption. Not even Slugger.

  "Airpump" loikes girlie magazines. Dunno wot 'ee's doin' wiv "Gang Rivalry"…

&
nbsp; It's always somebody else's fault…

  People don't realize a lot o’ fings… 'specially about themselves. Loike Corporal Hibberd 'ere…

  Moi fav'rite book, "Gang Loyalty", 'as got a new cover, an' guess wot? Oi'm on it… agen!

  Skirts are good fer playin' cricket 'cos they 'ide the wicket from the bowler…

  Oi'm real tactful: Oi know exac'ly jus' 'ow much too far Oi c'n go…

  Nuffink don't never work loike wot yew expect; 'cept it does when yew don't want it to…

  Oi c'n put up wiv people wot fink different ter me. Oi c'n even loike 'em (Oi'm tolerant loike that) 'cept o' corse when they wanna make me fink the same wot loike they do…

  Sensible people are the ones wot agree wiv me…

  It's annoyin' when people talk about yew be'ind yer back. An' it's even more annoyin' when they don't…

  This 'ere's the Haflin twins. They spend a lotta toime jus' 'angin' around up The Street, waitin' fer somefink ter 'appen.

  If'n yew jus' wait around fer somefink ter 'appen, yew moight 'ave ter wait a real long toime…

  Amateur means somebody wot loves wot they do. It fer sure ain't a derogatory word meanin' "second rate". Molly, Winnie an' me are amateurs…

  Simplicity simply ain't bein' a simpleton…

  Moi bruvver "Braces" is a red-head; wot don't make 'im no champion at jumpin' rope…

  There ain't no way yew c'n keep from misunderstandin', them wot really don't want ter unnerstand.

  Can Oi 'elp it if some people don't see fings moi way…?

  If'n yew wanna get ahead, get a wig…

  Mrs Jennings keeps the store at Gables Corner. She's a roight 'appy lady, wot laughs a lot.

  Until we 'ave learned 'ow ter be 'appy an' noble loike 'er, we ain't got much ter tell. Wot don't stop some people from tellin' it…

  Jus' be 'appy yerself; it's catchin'…

  Livin' is ter be touched. The more yew're touched an' touchin', the more yew live…

  Sometoimes yew c'n feel somefink touch yew, even afore yew actually know it.

  Readin' makes Aunt's world grow; an' cripes, she's smilin'…

  Jenno stood on the burnin' bridge, whence all but she (an' Peter) 'ad fled…

  Gravity don't always mean somefink wot is weighty, solemn, an' "serious"…

  Selena ain't never seen no ghosts at the Old Vicarage, but then there ain't nuffink at all wot we see real clearly, 'cos everyfink 'as got somefink a bit mysterious about it; even me…

  People argue most about fings wot 'ave got the least evidence, but they believe in 'em anyway. So yew gotta be real careful wot yew believe... it moight even be true.

  Any'ow, it ain’t so much wot’s true as causes trouble, but wot’s believed ter be true, but ain’t so.

  The key ter 'appiness 'angs on a slender chain. Dismal's broke 'is; even supposin' 'ee ever 'ad one…

  Yew ought ter try ter be ‘appy, if only ter give a good example ter them wot ain’t.

  Peter an' me went ter Lunnon ter see the King. 'Ee weren't at 'ome. But we saw the statue of Emmeline Pankhurst, an' then we saw Mr Churchill. Cripes, wot a lark…

  Readin' makes Penny's world grow…

  Oi spoi, wiv moi little oye, somefink beginnin' wiv…

  Gang Spies don't exist: it's jus' a lotta careless talk. But yew won't convince us kids…

  Katy's collects silver paper ter 'elp the war effort. It's aluminium, fer makin' aeroplanes. 'Er mum don't ardly never let 'er do much else…

  Mr Trundle's the Station Master. But there ain't so many trains wot stop at Widdlin'ton so 'ee's also the special constable. 'Ee loikes runnin' around doin' that. But a man's importance ain't so much in 'is goin', as in 'is bein'…

  Katy's pretty good at first aid. Jus' as well, 'cos she were kept pretty busy wiv the "Gang" adventures…

  Readin' makes Funf's world grow.; 'specially when 'ee reads about birds…

  Readin' 'elps the world evolve. It's creative too; leastways, writin' is…

  'Ave confidence in evolution, 'cos yew too are part o' wot evolves; even if'n yew're a creationist…

  Some days Oi ain't got nuffink much ter say; so terday Oi'm a-sayin' it. 'Ave yerself an 'appy day…

  The more yew know, the more yew know yew don't know.

  If'n yew want ter see better, it ain't no good jus' lookin' at fings: yew gotta look inter 'em as well…

  Some days, when Oi wanna make light, all Oi c'n make is a shadder…

  Some days, peanuts are loike pumpkins; ovver days, pumpkins are peanuts; but most days, peanuts are only peanuts…

  A writer creates characters from the ovver soide of silence. Then they come ter this soide an' make a lotta noise, if'n yew let 'em…

  Plot? Wot plot? There ain't no plot, Oi make it up as Oi go along…

  Words c'n 'ide ideas as well as reveal 'em. Ask any politician…

  Besides, Oi ain't no politican. Oi don’t go around soundin’-off about fings neither ('cept moi daft bruvver, an' Peter St J). Do Oi…?

  Apostrophes are contradict'ry, 'cos they show wot yew've got, when yew own somefink, an' wot yew ain't got, when it ain't there. Oi reckon Oi use more of 'em than anybody else wot Oi know. Peter St J don't loike it, but Oi can't 'elp that, can Oi? 'Ee c'n go inter a corner, if'n 'ee wants, an' complain wiv some asterisks…

  Love is mutual misunderstandin' wot's shared between two people…

  Peter St John reckons that writin' is a way o' speakin' wivvout bein' interrupted. But why does 'ee only say that when Oi'm around?

  It's sometimes easier ter be friends wiv a hundred people, than it is wiv just one…

  Even intelligent people sometimes say somefink wot is stupid. Oi an't goin' ter say anyfink more about that…

  D'yew know somefink? Oi'm mostly so little understood, that there ain't nobody wot even understands when Oi say Oi'm not understood. Wot about yew…?

  Some people 'ave strong beliefs about fings wot are mysterious, but fer mesself, Oi don't fink it's a good idea. There's quite enough trouble around already, wivvout that…

  Readin' makes the Vicar's world grow. An' cripes, it's moi first book wot 'ee's got…

  Yeah, Queen Elizabeth I were auburn an all…

  We believe lotsa fings by instinct, but that don't always mean that they're true; believe me…

  Yew gotta be real careful wot yew believe, 'cos it moight even be true. Even so, it ain't so much wot's true as causes trouble, but wot's believed ter be true, but ain't so…

  Creation don't never know wot it'll produce by way of evolution: Jus' look at moi braids…

  If'n yew wanna be diff'rent, re-invent yerself.

  If'n yew ain't never 'ad a soapbox cart, yew can't criticize them wot 'as.

  Any'ow, Oi gotta improve mesself, but not too much…

  'Appiness ain't big. It's jus' a little fing wot yew nibble now an' agen. Mostly yew only know yew're 'appy after yew've finished nibblin'. So then yew gotta start nibblin' agen…

  Mrs King is an' 'appy person. Jus' be 'appy yerslf, 'cos, loike the measles, it's catchin'…

  Love is the gift of a patchwork potholder

  When yew ain't got wot yew love, then yew'd better love wot yew've got… But it's real 'ard when yew love, ter no longer be loved. But it's an 'ole lot worse not ter love anymore…

  Ev'ry night Oi give mesself a quiet moment ter create wot's goin' ter be comin' termorrer…

  Oi reckon as 'ow flowers are some'ow meant ter be soothin', don't yew?

  Writin' makes the world go…

  Peter St J reckons as 'ow when 'ee's writin' real good, 'ee goes roight away ter nowhere, an' only 'is characters are left. Cripes, 'ee don't 'alf 'ave some weird ideas…